Normality Sucks!
by Dirty Liza
Summary: My name is Natalie. I am part of my parent's wonderful plan. Every part of my birth was choreographed in their minds before it happened. My existence was to be perfect, until I existed, and then they realized nothing is ever perfect...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Next to Normal...I wish! This is my first n2n fic but I just couldn't resist. I love the show so so much! :-)

_Summary: _It took 3 weeks before Di came back to the Goodman home. _Natalie was expelled after the Spring formal dance and she can't talk about why. As Yale is becoming more and more like a dream that will just never happen, can she turn her life around at her new school?_

**Normality Sucks**

Chapter One: **Smoking Pot Plants**

When Ms Riley knocked on my front door I was leaned halfway out the window trying desperately to put out the latest bong that my 'boyfriend' had made out of an empty cola bottle. I froze, of course. What else do you do when you're hanging out your window above your math teacher with illicit drugs in your hands?

"Knock knock," my new teacher called.

"Oh holy Heaven," I cursed, panicking. I stashed Henry's handy-work in a hanging pot plant and scampered down the stairs. My mother could NOT beat me to the door. My body was full of nervous energy and I started to feel sick. 'Calm down, Natalie,' I whispered to myself before flinging open the door.

"Hi," My voice was calm. Quiet, dull and empty. Somewhere between Elementary school and High school, I was no longer seen as shy, but instead, selective, rude and painfully cool. Funny, I still felt exactly the same as I had when I was 9. My fingers twitched inside the super-long sleeves of my hoodie. No one knew.

"Hey Natalie, I've come to talk to your parents. Are they home?"

"I guess," I said. There was no emotion in my voice, I made sure of it. Ms Riley paused, maybe a bit startled by my lack of social skills.

"Well hon, I just thought it was interesting that they didn't make it to parent-teacher night, especially since you've only just transfered. Since I just live across the street I thought I'd come and have a chat about how you're going anyway."

Since she just lived across the street, Ms Riley had to already know my mother was a basket case and my relationship with dad was based on who could scream the loudest. Oh, and that we shared our home with a hallucination who actually ran and ruled our entire house.

"Oh," I said. So deep and insightful.

From her bedroom, I could hear the sound of smashing glass and my mom swearing. Di Goodman was down. Which thankfully meant that she wasn't up - running around naked, lighting the place on fire, spending all our money online, or singing at the top of her lungs from the roof. But instead, she was in bed with pill bottles surrounding her like Stone Henge, reading obituaries in the paper and letting me know every day that she wished she anywhere but here. Well thanks mom, I love having you around too.

I stared Ms Riley in the eyes, daring her to suggest that maybe I should let her in. She was smart enough to stay silent. I slid out through the door and closed it behind me. My teacher and I on the front porch.

The truth is, I told my mom about parent-teacher night two weeks ago knowing she would forget. Most teachers don't even know I exist so I didn't think anyone would notice. Most of the time my own parents forget that I exist, so it was no big deal. Besides, mom went missing that night, so dad and I were up until 3.30am driving through the suburb searching for her.

Ms Riley was saying something like, "I can come back another time" and I was nodding my head.

"You're doing well at school, Natalie," Ms Riley added before she left. "Most kids on music scholarships don't have time for advanced mathematics."

I shrugged. "Most kids on music scholarships don't need to know how to count above four."

Ms Riley reached out to me and laughed. I was surprised because it sounded so honest. She touched my arm, "You'd come to me if you needed anything, wouldn't you?"

I couldn't stop my head from nodding, yes. She smiled at me and I almost returned it.

"Have a great weekend, Natalie Goodman."

Above me, the pot-scented plants swayed in the breeze.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two – Stars in Our Eyes**

It's first period and I already want to melt into the carpet owing to my lack of coordination when picking up my pen from under my desk. Not only did I 'thunk' my head on the desk as a sat back up, but I think there may be gum stuck in there too.

I sat back in my chair, willing my face into a completely unreadable expression. Really, there are stars floating everywhere in front of my eyes. I pick one and watch it, buzzing through the air. It was so clear I felt I could touch it. Was this what made up my brother? A hundred buzzing pieces of light that forged themselves together into a god-like teenage boy in front of my mom's eyes. Just as real as everything else before her, but only visible to one person alone.

A private viewing that mom would rather watch over anything else in the real world. He sure was one manipulative jerk of a hallucination. My mum thinks the sun shines out of my brother ass. One day she wished he was still alive, and "poof!" there he was. I wish I could "poof" my history homework into existence but I'm pretty sure it's in my room somewhere, next to Henry's missing scarf. How could I have forgotten to bring it? What the hell, Natalie?

"Psst Natalie!" the girl beside me whispered. I jumped out of my skin. Too much Redbull.

Hailey Hadock giggled as she passed a perfect, peachy, scented and slightly sparkly note under the table. Everything from her curly handwriting to her symmetrical folding of the page was beautiful. Hailey's curls bounced as she turned back to answer the question our teacher had just attempted to spring on her. She made the whole class laugh, especially Jemma and Trista, our other beautiful best friends.

Don't you dare gag, I know this world is fake. My old guidance counsellor told me I could turn over a new leaf at a new school, so I have. The more perfect you appear on the outside, the easier it is to hide on the inside, right? No one suspected a thing.

_**So, my mum met your mum at the store last night.**_

_**As IF you never told us you have a super hot brother!**_

_**That is totes cool, Nattie! When can we meet him? ;-) **_

_**Need to copy my homework? LOVE YOOOOU! H xxxxxxx**_

My chest tightened. I'd kinda kill for a Valium right now, but instead I forced a smile. I turned Hailey's note over and scrawled:

_**You mean Gabe? Gross, she said he was hot? ha ha ha! **_

_**He's on a football scholarship at Yale. **_

_**Dating a model and hopefully staying in Boston forever. ;-P **_

_**J/K I miss him soooooooooooooooo much xxxxxxxx**_

I studied my hands, pretending to mourn the 'loss' of my 'brother'. _With nothing to remember there is nothing left to grieve. _There was so much wrong with this. I leaned over anyway and slipped the pink paper into my friend's fingers. Hailey gasped as she read my reply and leaned over to rub my back. Without a second thought she quietly passed me her homework to copy. Maybe I did need a friend afterall.

It's recess at last and I can finally text Henry. _'So… private school sux'. _I lean against my locker waiting for his reply, even though I know he's at tech rehearsal for the school music night.

A girl can live in hope...


End file.
